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Michael Mallows - From Hurt to Wholeness
Michael Mallows is an adoption counsellor with the Post Adoption Centre in London, working with adoptive families, adopted adults and adolescents, and adoption professionals.
He is a clinical supervisor with the Westminster Drug Project, and supervises parent mentors with Crime Reduction Initiative. He utilises elements of NLP, The Enneagram, Transactional Analysis, Emotional Freedom Techniques, Clean Language, hypnosis - and anything else that 'works'.
Hurt is the pain we carry, like a burdensome thing, as a result (or so we tell ourselves) of our past.
Hate is usually externalised in our contempt and disdain for others. Blaming others (or our past) is a smoke screen for the deeper hurt and the greatest hate – we are out of love with ourselves!
Hope - Clients may get what they hope for, but, if the hurt and [self] hate are not acknowledged, addressed or healed, there is every likelihood that the 'successful' outcome will prove to be a symptomatic solution only and the fundamental problem will reveal itself in other ways.
Healing can only occur if, in the moment of greatest pain, we take responsibility for our vindictive thoughts and attitudes, and choose not to act on them.
Wholeness is what happens when we choose to treat others as we would like to be treated , even if they are other than we would wish them. And when we recognise our meanness and our magnificence, then we can reconcile them.
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